When life unravels, give yourself grace and hope
Part 1: Today I woke up and I felt like a Mack truck hit me.
Sometimes progress hurts.
My husband and I took a“Be Well” challenge and are doing a “Spartacus Workout” 4x a week. We usually workout at 5pm. But he had to do an install yesterday and so I agreed to do the workout with him at 8pm after the kids went to bed.
The workout, was hard because it was late, I had just eaten dinner and I was exhausted. I didn’t want to do it. But I promised my husband.
What I wanted to do was to COMPLAIN.
Complain about the time-shift: “I’m exhausted and this is YOUR FAULT because YOU had an install (projecting blame)” or “I could have done this workout on my own earlier in the day, but I waited for you! (martyr)”.
My commitment started to touch on other life tenants:
— Be connected. Would complaining help my relationship?
— Be resilient. Could I embrace pain? embrace change? get over the hump?
I was absolutely moody, the workout hurt, I tried my BEST not to complain and focus, but I did complain a bit and modified the workout. Then I went straight to bed afterward. Iced my throbbing hip and woke up feeling like a Mack truck hit me. You think this would mean that I failed… but I didn’t.
Part 2: “You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” — Marcus Aurelius
Ryan Holiday’s book, “The Daily Stoic” has been a journaling inspiration for me, and Marcus Aurelius’ quote is the second chapter to my workout story.
Life isn’t isolated events, tasks, commitments. Elements-of-life are a web-weaved and pulling just one string may make it unravel. That’s where we are right now: Social isolation, kids at home, coping mechanisms, control issues…
“You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” — Marcus Aurelius
I want to say two things:
1. If your web-weaved elements-of-life unravels on you, it’s ok. Feel the feels. Pick yourself up. Try again tomorrow. You are not a worse human for failing, you are a better human for getting up again, realizing where your trigger point was, and finding strength. If you can give yourself allowances for those automatic thoughts and potential negative responses, you can grow.
2. Celebrate what you can do/have done in the unexpected moments; in the shifts; in the caveats; in the isolation. Celebrate the growth from day 1 of social-isolation to today. How have you made your world better, different, over the past weeks? Celebrate committing to ANYTHING! Each time you check the box, you move forward. You are brave, you are strong, you are finding strength.
